Why Babies Need Hugs

Humans possess an innate nature of being capable of forming and maintaining intimate relationships. And little is known about how it is crucial in the process of growing and developing of an individual to achieve his or her full potential. Through satisfying these needs,a person can have a sense of security in all aspects of human life and as well as avoid any unpleasant feelings or consequences. Failure to assume this critical role may lead to the deferred development of emotional and physical growth particularly among infants and this is commonly associated to anaclitic depression.

Babies need hugs.

Anaclitic depression

Anaclitic depression was first coined by the Hungarian psychiatrist René Spitz in 1946. He was researching orphaned children, and noticed that infants became depressed after separation from their primary caregivers (in this case, their mothers). He concluded that removal of the primary caregivers can cause serious problems, resulting in delayed physical and emotional growth.

Attachment disorders including anaclitic depression have been studied for over 50 years, and this theory is now appropriately classified as inhibited reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Children who fall into this category can be identified because they are unable to initiate and respond to social interactions in an appropriate manner.

This is related to the loss of primary attachment, even if alternative caregivers are able to provide adequate care. A non attachment disorder may also develop as a result of the infant not having the opportunity to develop at least one attachment with a reliable caregiver, who is continuously present in the baby’s life; such as cases where the infant has lived in multiple foster homes or orphanages.

Symptoms of anaclitic depression include being withdrawn from caregivers. Infants are unable to smile or react to stimuli when picked up or interacting with others around them. They may even be lethargic or seems to have no energy to even eat or drink.

Older infants, on the other hand, would display no interest in playing with toys and will avoid comfort from caregivers. They will also prefer to be alone and may act aggressively to peers. They will usually refuse to ask for help when needed, and refrain from all forms of interaction.

Treatment of anaclitic depression would be directed at developing healthy relationships and dependency on the caregivers. When placed in an environment with stable and nurturing caregivers, most children would do well and recover completely, however, some may continue to suffer with attachment problems. The length and severity of neglect usually determines the response to treatment.

“Anaclitic Depression” The impairment of an infant’s physical, social, and intellectual development following separation from its mother or primary caregiver.

Let’s think about that a moment? Infant Depression!!!

The crucial role of “present and active motherhood” in the behavioral and psychological development of an infant was further proven with the concept of anaclitic depression, a form of depression in very young children.

Anaclitic depression is a physical and psycho-social form of disturbance among infants caused by separation from their mothers from three months or longer after the birth, up to a year.

The term “anaclitic” was coined by psychiatrist René Spitz, which meant “leaning upon.” As such, anaclitic depression means lack of maternal nurturing or absence of a mother to lean upon to during the very crucial first six months of an infant’s life.

Due to the long-term absence of maternal care and nurturing (feeding, holding, cuddling, massaging, and natural expressions of maternal love directed to a growing infant), the children exhibited a depressed condition characterized by observable physical and psychological symptoms. These include sleeplessness, anxiety, irritation, weight loss, frequent illness, being socially withdrawn, and a retardation in psychomotor development. These symptoms often get worse when the separation from the mother continues.

Tests conducted by pediatric psychologists showed that infants who were reunited with their mothers after six months of separation reversed their condition and returned to normal physical, psychological and emotional health.

But children who went on without maternal care, either from their biological mother or a replacement mother figure exhibited the worst conditions – mental retardation and marasmus or wasting due to starvation (unresponsive to feeding).

Good – Appropriate touch with children

If it seems as if ‘no touch’ is the ‘best touch,’ with a child, I can assure you that there is such a thing as ‘good touch.’

Everyone needs touch that soothes and nurtures. Studies on children in orphanages in England during World War II revealed that without touch children become morose (anaclitic depression) and often die despite adequate nutrition and proper hygiene.

The most important guideline in touching your child is respecting your child’s likes and dislikes. When your child is non-verbal, you will need to watch for signals, such as: wincing, squirming, holding the breath, or crying to decide if the touch is disliked. Any sign of dislike or discomfort needs to be respected. You need to cease the activity immediately, without question and without shaming your child.

Respecting and honoring your child’s preferences, including while playing, is critically important. When you ignore your child’s preferences you are in fact, unwittingly saying, “Your perceptions do not count.” Your child will learn through lack of respect and disregard to their preferences, that they have no power.

When a child believes she/he is powerless with the most trusted people in his/her life (parents), she/he ceases to exercise our power with anyone. Therefore, it is paramount when your child objects to any form of touch–contact play touch, tickling, etc. that you stop immediately. On a broader scale, the outcome could be catastrophic. Children learn their life skills vis-a-vis their parents. If they perceive themselves as powerless with their parents, they will be powerless with other adults; thus, other adults could include a sex offender, who is waiting for just such a child to become their next victim. See my article: How Sex Offenders Groom their Victims.

GOOD TOUCH:

• Gently rubbing your child’s back, arms, hands, fingers, head, cheeks ears, forehead, feet and toes. Rubbing their legs needs to be modified to avoid the inner thigh, which is a highly erogenous area.

• Hugging is the most magnificent form of touching. Hugging says: “I am here for you.,” “I really understand your feelings,” “I am proud of you,” “Allow me to comfort you,” “I love you,” and much more. There are fourteen different types of hugs: The A-Frame, Ankle, Side-to-thigh, Back-to-front, Bear, Cheek, Custom-tailored, Grabber-squeezer, Group, Guess Who, Heart Centered, Sandwich, Side-to-side, Top-of-the-head hug. Hugs can account for the majority of the touch you give your child.

CAUTION:

As the parent(s) or caretaker, you know your motives when you touch a child. “What is wrong with giving my child a pat on the bare buttocks as a show of affection? What is wrong with kissing my baby on the bare buttocks after she/he has had a bath?” There is probably nothing wrong, and these actions would not be considered ‘bad touch.’ However, your child is learning via this activity; “What is acceptable touch with someone the child trusts.”

*Sex offenders use acceptable, affectionate touch for bonding and desensitizing the child. If the child is accustomed to being patted on the buttocks by the parent, their predisposition to this form of touch would likely leave them vulnerable in allowing anyone whom they trust to do the same. This creates a possibility that someone who is a sex offender can begin the desensitization process seemingly innocently with an increased possibility of the child’s compliance.

baby need hug

*Therefore, if the child does not protest when she/he is patted on the buttocks, the sex offender accepts this as confirmation the child is accustomed to being patted on the buttocks and will progress to sexual touching. If your child is not accustomed to being patted on the buttocks and you have instructed her/him to protest uncomfortable or unwanted touch, a sex offender will be reluctant to go further. If the child protests or moves away, it is a signal to the sex offender that this child might tell.

Blowing air bubbles (a.k.a. raspberries) on their stomach is every child’s delight. However, this activity can be used by a sex offender–emphasis that only Mommy or Daddy is allowed to blow air bubbles.

*Tickling is a very ‘ticklish’ kind of touch. No pun intended for this very serious subject. Many sexual abuse or incest survivors state their abuse started with tickling. However, in many incidents, the child intuitively knew that the tickling was different in nature, but she/he did not know they had a right to protest. Therefore, if you tickle your child, be extremely watchful where you tickle. Avoid highly erotic areas such as the buttocks, breast area, groin, or inner thigh.

*These precautions apply equally to boys and girls. Additionally, reinforcing the lesson that your child has the right to protest is advisable if the tickling, touch, activity, for any reason, is uncomfortable or unwanted. It is imperative you stop any touching activity if your child displays any signs of discomfort. Stop immediately!