Humans possess an innate nature of being capable of forming and maintaining intimate relationships. And little is known about how it is crucial in the process of growing and developing of an individual to achieve his or her full potential. Through satisfying these needs,a person can have a sense of security in all aspects of human life and as well as avoid any unpleasant feelings or consequences. Failure to assume this critical role may lead to the deferred development of emotional and physical growth particularly among infants and this is commonly associated to anaclitic depression.

Babies need hugs.

Anaclitic depression

Anaclitic depression was first coined by the Hungarian psychiatrist René Spitz in 1946. He was researching orphaned children, and noticed that infants became depressed after separation from their primary caregivers (in this case, their mothers). He concluded that removal of the primary caregivers can cause serious problems, resulting in delayed physical and emotional growth.

Attachment disorders including anaclitic depression have been studied for over 50 years, and this theory is now appropriately classified as inhibited reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Children who fall into this category can be identified because they are unable to initiate and respond to social interactions in an appropriate manner.

This is related to the loss of primary attachment, even if alternative caregivers are able to provide adequate care. A non attachment disorder may also develop as a result of the infant not having the opportunity to develop at least one attachment with a reliable caregiver, who is continuously present in the baby’s life; such as cases where the infant has lived in multiple foster homes or orphanages.

Symptoms of anaclitic depression include being withdrawn from caregivers. Infants are unable to smile or react to stimuli when picked up or interacting with others around them. They may even be lethargic or seems to have no energy to even eat or drink.

Older infants, on the other hand, would display no interest in playing with toys and will avoid comfort from caregivers. They will also prefer to be alone and may act aggressively to peers. They will usually refuse to ask for help when needed, and refrain from all forms of interaction.

Treatment of anaclitic depression would be directed at developing healthy relationships and dependency on the caregivers. When placed in an environment with stable and nurturing caregivers, most children would do well and recover completely, however, some may continue to suffer with attachment problems. The length and severity of neglect usually determines the response to treatment.

“Anaclitic Depression” The impairment of an infant’s physical, social, and intellectual development following separation from its mother or primary caregiver.

Let’s think about that a moment? Infant Depression!!!

The crucial role of “present and active motherhood” in the behavioral and psychological development of an infant was further proven with the concept of anaclitic depression, a form of depression in very young children.

Anaclitic depression is a physical and psycho-social form of disturbance among infants caused by separation from their mothers from three months or longer after the birth, up to a year.

The term “anaclitic” was coined by psychiatrist René Spitz, which meant “leaning upon.” As such, anaclitic depression means lack of maternal nurturing or absence of a mother to lean upon to during the very crucial first six months of an infant’s life.

Due to the long-term absence of maternal care and nurturing (feeding, holding, cuddling, massaging, and natural expressions of maternal love directed to a growing infant), the children exhibited a depressed condition characterized by observable physical and psychological symptoms. These include sleeplessness, anxiety, irritation, weight loss, frequent illness, being socially withdrawn, and a retardation in psychomotor development. These symptoms often get worse when the separation from the mother continues.

Tests conducted by pediatric psychologists showed that infants who were reunited with their mothers after six months of separation reversed their condition and returned to normal physical, psychological and emotional health.

But children who went on without maternal care, either from their biological mother or a replacement mother figure exhibited the worst conditions – mental retardation and marasmus or wasting due to starvation (unresponsive to feeding).

Have you ever wondered?

how to know if your spouse is depressed?

Exactly why this is relevant is because if this is not dealt with, it can cause severe problems in even the best of marriages. Therefore it is important to recognize signs that your spouse is depressed. We are talking about prolonged characterizations of these signs. Everyone exhibits some of these things from time to time.

You want to understand how to know if your spouse is depressed, and if it is a serious state of depression.

If you recognize and deal with these signs at an early enough stage, it might just save marriage. See, when depression depression is serious, even the best of marriages can be threatened.

I understand how you feel. There have been times when I have seen my wife exhibit one or more of these signs, and I wondered if trouble were on the way. On the other hand, I also have exhibited one or more of these signs, and I may have caused worry for my wife.

So, how do you discern whether the signs he or she is exhibiting is of a serious nature?

People who are successful at learning how to know if their spouse is depressed have discovered a secret.

What is that secret?

Here it really is: Four characteristics that are prolonged (for weeks or months at a time) and not just temporary in nature can be signs of serious depression in your spouse. Let’s check out those four characteristics of depression, and then let us look at a solution.

1. Sadness

First of all, you are able to see signs that your spouse is depressed when he or she appears sad all the time. This is an ongoing sadness. No matter what you do, you cannot seem to cheer up your spouse. All the old things that brought happiness and laughter do not work anymore.

2. Tiredness

Not only can you see prolonged sadness. In addition, you can see prolonged tiredness in a spouse who is depressed. We all get tired from time to time, but we can usually explain why. We can point to things out of the ordinary that we have done, or we can point to long periods of work; however someone who is experiencing serious depression may feel tired all the time–without normal explanations for that condition.

3. Anger

Besides sadness and tiredness, you also can see prolonged anger in a husband or wife who is going through depression. Those individuals may not be able to explain, even to themselves, why they are angry all the time. (This may not fit every case of depression, but many times it does.)

4. Withdrawal

We all like some solitude from time to time, but a seriously depressed person can move more and more into a state of withdrawal. These people get to where they don’t want to be around anyone from the outside, and they may get to where they will withdraw from you too.

5. Understand and Encourage to Get Help

Having seen the signs of prolonged sadness, tiredness, anger and withdrawal, you really need to be sensitive to what is going on with your spouse. If you react wrongly, you will probably compound the situation.

These four signs that your spouse is depressed are serious enough to give you cause for concern.

Be understanding of your spouse. He or she does not even know why this is happening. Without creating sparks and raising defensiveness, in a calm manner, begin to talk to your husband or wife about the situation. When he or she comes to the point of admitting that he (she) is depressed and that he (she) does not seem to be able to improve things on his (her) own, suggest that he (she) receive professional help. All the while, being understanding (to the best of your ability) while you suggest this.

If he or she agrees, you may see a dramatic recovery. Is this something that can save marriage–specifically, your marriage? It can be.

We now have seen that observing prolonged sadness, tiredness, anger and withdrawal will help you to learn how to know if your spouse is depressed. Then after that, you can take steps to deal with the situation.

Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields engaged in a word war against each other because of a type of depression, called postpartum depression. Cruise’s and Brooke’s debacle started when Tom Cruise openly disapproved of Brooke Shield’s personal choice of opting to take prescribed medicines to cure her postpartum depression, when he guessed at the Today Show.

According to Cruise, who is a popular devotee of Scientology (who believes that we can be cured through natural means and that taking medicine is doing our body harm), Brooke Shields should have instead, opted to cure her postpartum depression by doing healthy exercises. Adding that a lot of people have been misinformed about depression and how to actually cure this common illness.

But what is postpartum depression really? We’ve heard about it often enough, yet are we really sure that we know enough about it for us to actually understand this illness in order for us to help ourselves as well as others? Being pregnant should really be a source of joy for everyone, especially the mother to be, who for nine months, will actually have living being grow from inside of her. Unfortunately, there is another side to this joyous occasion, being pregnant means that you and your body will have to get used to some adjustments for you to have a safe pregnancy. Smoking, alcohol, strenuous activities as well as stress should be avoided at all cost.

A healthy baby means having a healthy mother as well. But given that you have been able to successfully avoided all these bad habits for your baby to be, childbirth is a whole different thing, as much as we may try to avoid it, there are still some unfortunate cases wherein the mother’s as well as the baby’s life might be in danger.

But there’s actually more, postpartum depression actually happens after childbirth. Although it’s quite common and a lot of women have learned to how to deal with it as well as successfully treat it (like Brooke Shields), it is still quite avoidable. Postpartum depression is actually a lot like depression, but only new moms are the possible victims of this illness. There are actually a lot possible reasons why postpartum depression occurs:

Childbirth as we all know is not as easy as pie, actual physical stress from giving birth is one of the main reasons why postpartum depression occurs. Next postpartum depression trigger is massive changes is hormonal levels. A lot of moms-to-be who were hesitant about bearing a child are also more susceptible to postpartum depression, those who are not ready to be a mother yet are more easily to get depressed as opposed to happy and excited moms-to-be.

When postpartum depression happens, it really is best to go to the doctor immediately. Aside from obviously having ill-effects for the new mother, postpartum depression can prove to be harmful to the child as well. New mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression may be harboring ill feelings toward their children. There are actually some cases of murder wherein postpartum depression has been cited as the reason. Mothers who suffer from postpartum depression may blame their child for their weight gain, thus feeling like they’ve become less attractive and unloved.

It is really best to consult a reputable cognitive behavior therapist to take care of your postpartum woes, your therapist may prescribe medications to help cure postpartum depression as well as therapy sessions to help relieve whatever pent emotions that you may have.

If it seems as if ‘no touch’ is the ‘best touch,’ with a child, I can assure you that there is such a thing as ‘good touch.’

Everyone needs touch that soothes and nurtures. Studies on children in orphanages in England during World War II revealed that without touch children become morose (anaclitic depression) and often die despite adequate nutrition and proper hygiene.

The most important guideline in touching your child is respecting your child’s likes and dislikes. When your child is non-verbal, you will need to watch for signals, such as: wincing, squirming, holding the breath, or crying to decide if the touch is disliked. Any sign of dislike or discomfort needs to be respected. You need to cease the activity immediately, without question and without shaming your child.

Respecting and honoring your child’s preferences, including while playing, is critically important. When you ignore your child’s preferences you are in fact, unwittingly saying, “Your perceptions do not count.” Your child will learn through lack of respect and disregard to their preferences, that they have no power.

When a child believes she/he is powerless with the most trusted people in his/her life (parents), she/he ceases to exercise our power with anyone. Therefore, it is paramount when your child objects to any form of touch–contact play touch, tickling, etc. that you stop immediately. On a broader scale, the outcome could be catastrophic. Children learn their life skills vis-a-vis their parents. If they perceive themselves as powerless with their parents, they will be powerless with other adults; thus, other adults could include a sex offender, who is waiting for just such a child to become their next victim. See my article: How Sex Offenders Groom their Victims.

GOOD TOUCH:

• Gently rubbing your child’s back, arms, hands, fingers, head, cheeks ears, forehead, feet and toes. Rubbing their legs needs to be modified to avoid the inner thigh, which is a highly erogenous area.

• Hugging is the most magnificent form of touching. Hugging says: “I am here for you.,” “I really understand your feelings,” “I am proud of you,” “Allow me to comfort you,” “I love you,” and much more. There are fourteen different types of hugs: The A-Frame, Ankle, Side-to-thigh, Back-to-front, Bear, Cheek, Custom-tailored, Grabber-squeezer, Group, Guess Who, Heart Centered, Sandwich, Side-to-side, Top-of-the-head hug. Hugs can account for the majority of the touch you give your child.

CAUTION:

As the parent(s) or caretaker, you know your motives when you touch a child. “What is wrong with giving my child a pat on the bare buttocks as a show of affection? What is wrong with kissing my baby on the bare buttocks after she/he has had a bath?” There is probably nothing wrong, and these actions would not be considered ‘bad touch.’ However, your child is learning via this activity; “What is acceptable touch with someone the child trusts.”

*Sex offenders use acceptable, affectionate touch for bonding and desensitizing the child. If the child is accustomed to being patted on the buttocks by the parent, their predisposition to this form of touch would likely leave them vulnerable in allowing anyone whom they trust to do the same. This creates a possibility that someone who is a sex offender can begin the desensitization process seemingly innocently with an increased possibility of the child’s compliance.

baby need hug

*Therefore, if the child does not protest when she/he is patted on the buttocks, the sex offender accepts this as confirmation the child is accustomed to being patted on the buttocks and will progress to sexual touching. If your child is not accustomed to being patted on the buttocks and you have instructed her/him to protest uncomfortable or unwanted touch, a sex offender will be reluctant to go further. If the child protests or moves away, it is a signal to the sex offender that this child might tell.

Blowing air bubbles (a.k.a. raspberries) on their stomach is every child’s delight. However, this activity can be used by a sex offender–emphasis that only Mommy or Daddy is allowed to blow air bubbles.

*Tickling is a very ‘ticklish’ kind of touch. No pun intended for this very serious subject. Many sexual abuse or incest survivors state their abuse started with tickling. However, in many incidents, the child intuitively knew that the tickling was different in nature, but she/he did not know they had a right to protest. Therefore, if you tickle your child, be extremely watchful where you tickle. Avoid highly erotic areas such as the buttocks, breast area, groin, or inner thigh.

*These precautions apply equally to boys and girls. Additionally, reinforcing the lesson that your child has the right to protest is advisable if the tickling, touch, activity, for any reason, is uncomfortable or unwanted. It is imperative you stop any touching activity if your child displays any signs of discomfort. Stop immediately!